One year

It has been a year since I started with my Kaleidosthoughts blog. I usually wrote thoughts that come to my mind at a particular moment but this time I thought I’d challenge myself by putting together all the titles of my previous posts into this entry. So these are not random thoughts but a deliberate attempt to put all my previous titles together and try to make SOME sense out of it… But just looking at my previous titles and thinking what to make out of it already makes my head spin. I tried visualizing all of them together and I can’t… so I thought I’d make it easier by dividing the entries into the 3 thoughts – Happy thoughts, sad thoughts, anything goes…

Even that is going to be hard so I’ll just try to put in as much as I can. I know it will probably (or should I say MOST LIKELY) not make sense and I would have to invent a lot of stuff BUT I’d like to try anyway… so here goes my effort!

HAPPY THOUGHTS…
One Hot..hot..hot evening, I decided to have a long evening walk around the park but it was cut short when I saw Christopher “Utoy” along the way. He had no hands and feet that I knew he was going to have a hard time catching up with me so that I started remembering our old volkswagen… I was thinking that if only I have it with me I could bring him home quickly… just then his mom came along and carried him and we decided to walk slowly back to my home and just stay in our garden to talk. We talked about two love stories of our neighbors the guitar girl and Miss Saigon. The former fell in love with the leader of the band and the latter had a long distance love affair. Their stories were so cute that we found ourselves sighing when suddenly Utoy also wanted to join in our talk. Well I was in the mood to talk so I told him the story on why frog and snake never play together and my experiences in climbing tree on a trip to Quezon. He too has stories to share on the adventures of mothers and grandparents…he was so animated while talking that I winked at his mother and motioned a salute to all mothers. I told her that children learn what they live and that she together with her parents are really teaching her son well. I then pat Utoy's head and told him "take care of your mom and love your grandparents for they are some of the greatest people according to Beth." We had a nice and happy talk that night!

The next day, while having an english toast for my breakfast in Chowking, I chanced upon a tabloid on the table and decided to read hoping to read something on balanced Philippines or good news on our country, instead all I got were Philippine porn so I immediately set it aside and concentrated on my meal. I thought my day was going to be ruined when I saw one lovely small yellow butterfly fluttering from the glass window, it made me feel nice and I decided to have more walks…I wasn’t going to take a short cut going home from Divisoria, my Manila but would walk as far as I could to see the things around the place! I was looking with amazement at the rows of sunflowers in a garden protected only by amazing wires when it suddenly started to rain! It was cool rain!!! Oh I felt really nice since it has been a hot day, I did not run for cover but just continued walking marveling at the sight around me. I thought it was lovely but I was not prepared to see a double rainbow. It was soooo unexpected and so beautiful that I gasped in awe!!! An increased energy surged through my body... if only Bacolod was near, I felt that I could walk from Manila…Negros…Manila (okay that’s an exaggeration!!! I could never walk that far plus I have to cross a sea toget there and back and I can't even swim!!!) I still feel so much energy that I had to displace it! Maybe leisure was is not enough and i should try volksporting... volksmarching! Nah... I am not really into sports, i'd still prefer leisurely walks for oftentimes they touches my soul!

SAD THOUGHTS…
I received the invitation on Pete’s birthday. Narcissus, Mary and I were going to meet him to attend a rockin’ comedy by Mitch Valdes in a concert hall along United Nations Avenue in Manila. The place is just beside the clinic where I had my Dorn therapy so I know that it is difficult crossing the street there... I could see the danger sign "Ped Xing...R.I.P" and my mind was focused on avoiding death so I was real careful but Mary and Narcissus were in a hurry and Mary got hit by a speeding car! Gosh, how could it happen... we tried to rush her on a hospital nearby but she did not make it! We called Pete and told him the sad news, he was crying and saying "the friend that I have lost and found is gone forever... she was my only love!!! How could this happen??? This feels like the mountain collapsed on me!!!" He was asking us "Is life worth living without Mary?" and I could not answer him well... The hardest thing to understand in the world is pain... you can't describe it!!! I tried to talk and tell him that people come into your life either for a reason…season…lifetime maybe theirs was just a season... He could not hear me since his tears were falling... they were falling like heavy rain that i could feel the first flood on hot summer day! He just kept on crying and I was trying to shhhh him... it was no use... we could not do anything but hope that everything will turn out fine for him when the heart is light again!

ANYTHING GOES…
What if someone gives you $20.6 million and you become richer than the former Conrad Hilton? Would you consider that a miracle??? A fulfillment of your Dreams? Answered Prayers? You think that will give you happiness? Or will that drive you to an Urban suicide? Not just drive but probably overdrive you to suicide??? You’ll probably be too paranoid thinking that somebody is out to get you or that all your new riches will be stolen that you turn into a fugitive and hide behind the walls and garden of Carmel..

But being in a cloistered Carmel convent may not really be a bad idea for one fabulous Filipina, she’ll be a handmaid of the Lord and just allow everything that the Lord asks her to do… she’ll have time daily for the Holy Mass, meditation (not just silent meditation but even laughter meditation… hmmm I wonder if they will allow her that?) and there will time for offering prayer for the dead, she could reflect on some of the writings of the late Pope John Paul II of course manual labor will always be around, life will never be easy inside Carmel. Work and prayer will always be a part of the life in Carmel even if you give them all your money.

Ahh but wake up… say Goodbye, Pope John Paul II, no one will ever give someone $20.6 million… it only happens in scam emails or the movies and I guess, somebody’s wishes on a bad weather…

Okay, that's about it! I really wish I could have put everything together but i could not... but it has really been a challenge... I want to make the deadline for my anniversary (gosh this challenge is difficult!!!) so I just put everything that i could... however, anniversaries are not really complete without feeling a sense of gratitude. Thus I would like to thank the people who have visited my blog and whose blogs I have been enjoying. I especially thank Erik for encouraging me to write even if we don't know each other and belong to an entirely different culture. And I don't really know if I should thank Hugh or scold him for being a distraction from my writing... Geez one year of blogging... time sure flies FAST!