KaLeiDosThoughtsbutterfly

Random thoughts... Happy Thoughts... Sad thoughts... Anything goes!!!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Laughter meditation

I have joined a mailing list from Pragito Dove wherein she sends different meditation techniques.

I thought that meditation requires a lot of concentration and effort but based on the mails I have been getting, they could be quite simple... ahh well simple to read and understand but sometimes when you are so busy thinking about so many things you don't actually get to practice them...

Right now I am reading again about the laughter meditation, there has been a lot of sickness at home... one kid sick after another that the atmosphere is a bit tense. Actually mama's blood pressure is already high from getting mad at my nephew for not drinking his medicine and my nephew would cry his heart out fighting it out with mama... ahhh they sure could use some laughter... everybody sure could use some laughter at home... then I hope all the children will get better and the adults calmer.

Anyway, back to Pragito's email. I did not get the first part but I got the second part on the laughter meditation, it says:

This technique has three stages.
1. Laugh your troubles away. Just sitting silently, create a giggle in the very guts of your being, as if your whole body is giggling or laughing. Start swaying with that laughter and let it spread from the belly to the whole of your body – hands laughing, feet laughing, go crazily into it. For ten, fifteen or twenty minutes do the laughing. If it comes uproariously, loudly, allow it. If it comes silently, then sometimes silently, sometimes loudly, allow it.


2. Lie down on the floor or on the earth; spread yourself on the floor, facing the floor. If it is warm and you can do it in the garden, on the ground, that will be better. Make contact with the earth, the whole body lying down there on the earth, and just feel that the earth is the mother and you are the child. Get lost in that feeling. This is earthing, a deep contact with the earth. Breathe with the earth and feel one with the earth. We come from the earth and one day we will be going back to it

3. Put music on and dance. Dance for ten, fifteen or twenty minutes because the earth will give so much energy that your dancing will have a different quality to it –…just any dancing you feel like. Celebrate yourself!

Do this inside unless it is warm enough and you have a garden, then be outside. Find ways to do it. Allow it to transform you – you will feel lighter and more grounded. The balanced harmony ofheaven and earth meets to bring you peace, creativity and joy.

This is a wonderful technique to do with children.

www.pragito.com

Earlier on, I noticed that I haven't been laughing as much as I used to... though there there would still be smiles... laughter has tremendously diminished, then I read about laughter yoga -- that you don't really have to feel like laughing before you laugh.. that you don't have to be happy to laugh but it is actually the other way around.. You laugh and it induces a feeling of well-being... of happiness.

It actually sounds and feels foolish to be forcing laughter. I remember when I started practicing the laughter exercise wherein you have to laugh when you get up in the morning I actually felt stupid and people at home thought I was nuts! Though the practice was good, I did not stay at it for I did not want to wake up everybody else in the household early in the morning. Instead, after a short prayer in the morning, I do some stretching exercise and just feel a soft laughter within me... to have a nice feeling to start the day! Then I also made it a point to laugh at every opportunity I have... whereas before I would just smile, now there would be some sounds to that smile... a laughter! Oh my laughter is NOTHING compared to the laughter of my officemates Jane and Ging. Those two's laughters are really contagious... i should say BIGAY-TODO, "full of passion" that you feel the vibration reaching your body. But I know that my laughing has added JOY and lightness...now if i could just blow some joy and lightness for the rest of the people at home.. then that would be great! that would make each day a HA HA HA HAppy day and each one a HA HA HA HAppy person!!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Ped Xing...R.I.P.

Seen the Ped Xing signs around the metropolis?
Well we have a pedestrian lane in our very wide street but don't have such sign. And if they would ever put a sign there it will not be for motorist but for the pedestrian themselves since crossing that street is really hazardous to one's health... or should I say hazardous to one's life!!!

This morning, I had already crossed one part of our highway and was on the island when I heard a very loud screech! A motorcycle almost hit a lady who was crossing! That is not the first time such incident happened there. I remember a few years ago when I was also on the island and I heard a loud blog. I turned around and saw a man lying on the road. The vehicle that hit him continued on the road! I was waiting for someone to come near him and when there was no one approaching, I came nearer to see if he was conscious or not. He was NOT CONSCIOUS and there was blood oozing from his head… There is no 911 in our country to call in case of such emergencies so people are left with their own resources.

There is a small hospital on the other side of the road and I thought of carrying him there. But he was heavy and I could not lift him! Another lady came to help me but even both of us could not lift him. Then two men stopped an approaching car and then they carried the man inside. I don’t know where they brought him after that... incidentally the vehicle that hit the man went back but the man was no longer there, some people encircled him though while they waited for a police officer...

Anyway, I crossed the other half of the street together with other people (I try to walk with other people when crossing that road staying at the farthest corner to make sure that if a vehicle loses control I am not the first one to be hit!!! otherwise yikes.. bye-bye world!!!). I took my ride going to the office and when I reached the office, I immediately called the hospitals near our place… luckily I was able to trace the man on the next hospital I called…and luckily he survived! I felt relieved!

But there has already been a lot of instances when people died in that road and it usually happens at night. The problem in that particular area is that there is no stop light and there is a flyover so that the speed of vehicles are fast and the volume there is quite high..

Sometimes I fall asleep in my FX ride at night and miss my stop and if that happens I get off where there is an overpass so I could safely cross then take a ride back where there is another overpass and take a final ride to my stop… it is costly but it is safe… Don’t wanna be included in the statistics of casualties there!

If there is something I can wish for.. it is this:

I hope our Ped Lane dies! May his lines be erased from the face of our road! Then may he be resurrected or should I say reincarnated and become the best pedestrian overpass in the metro manila!

When that happens, I would say that the Peds Xing will finally cross the street in peace! YEah... and our fear of crossing will finally Rest In Peace!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Heavy rain!

It is cool in my room now.

Hurray!!!

I prayed for rain... been doing a rain dance in my sleep... and it paid off!
Heat is gone tonight!
I got very wet from the rain... but it is a small price to pay for the benefit of having cooler weathers on the succeeding days!

Okay.. weather is nice and it is time for bed.... ahhh life is good!

Monday, May 16, 2005

Coincidence???

Last night was just a short post before I slept since I was really tired from the trip to Quezon. Hope I can post some pictures from the Pahiyas in Lucban since it was really colorful but until I get hold of some pictures from Erwin, I'll have to talk of something else...

Anyway a weird thing happened in Gumaca...

I was supposed to be in the Carmel Monastery in Gumaca at 10:00 am but because of the heavy traffic, I got there at 12:30.. too late to attend the 25th anniversary of Sister Elizabeth of God (nope that's not me) even late for the reception but I still enjoyed the food and I ate a lot of pancit noodles! I also got to meet Sister Elizabeth. She was crowned with white flowers in her head and she was really beautiful! Not just physically beautiful but also with inner glow. Mother Catherine asked me to stay there for the night but I told her another time since I also thought of visiting our branch in Gumaca before heading to one of our auditors in Lucena so we could go to Lucban's festival the next day...I will really have to go back to Carmel since I have to return the book the novice mistress lent me...BUT that's not the story here...

I went to our branch, it was a short trip from the monastery and while there, I got to inspect the office, the store area and the warehouse... I just returned to the office with the manager when the watcher came to the office and handed me a letter. A letter for me? That is impossible so I gave it to the manager... but he gave it back to me since it was addressed to me...and he was right -written there was to Auditor Beth. I was in awe! I wondered who it came from or its content...I was shocked to note that the letter came from a former auditor who stayed with the company only for 2 weeks since he had a bad habit of borrowing money and things from people... I could not recall if I was the one who told him about his termination or if our boss told it herself after all it was such a long long time ago...

Anyway, back to the story. In his letter he wrote that he has been in Gumaca since 10 am and has not even eaten lunch (it was almost 3 pm then) their ride was held up by 2 of the passengers. The holduppers took his wallet, mobile phone and watch. He said he was lucky he found me in the area and that he always finds me when he is in trouble (well this is the second time he came to me and said he was held up, the first time was a few months ago when he went to our main office and said that he was held up while he was in the vicinity and he had no money to go home!) The first time it would have been easy to find me since I was just in the office... but to find me in a place I don't really go to... WOW!!! Goodness do you know how far Gumaca is from Manila.... very very far... I don't know how many kilometers but it is far! For him to find me there when I did not even mention my trip to people in the office is just too great of a coincidence!

He said he has not eaten lunch and gave a number where I can contact him... funny for him to write a letter when he could have just gone directly to me at the store huh? Anyway, I called the number, it was the local telephone station and they called him. Well, since he said he has not eaten I would have to feed him BUT I had no intention of meeting him alone! I asked the manager to accompany me in Jollibee -- Yup there's a jollibee in Gumaca! It is everywhere!!!

He came is shorts and shades with a big knapsack -- the "get up" of a tourist! He said he was en route to Buenavista but took an FX ride instead of the bus (I realized later that there were no FX in the area, there are vans there but no FX) and 2 of the passengers --one in front and the other at the back declared a hold up and carted their things (hmmm... he still had his knapsack and the manager even asked him how come they did not take it away and he said he pleaded because he was going to a be godfather in a wedding) he mentioned that he went to the telephone company so he could call his relatives and that he even borrowed money from the lady there, he also mentioned that he reported the incident to the police station there... just how he got to Gumaca was not really clear.. oh all right, I remember that he said that he hitched a ride in one of the bus going to Gumaca. I can smell something fishy already... but you know how it is with us Filipinos, really hard to confront the person and tell him straight in the face, I know you are lying!!! So okay I went along after all I felt safe knowing that the manager was with me and he was a big guy! I told him that we should go to the police station to inform the police there that he already met some people he knew in the area...he said he went to 2 police stations there and instead we landed in the local telephone station, he motioned using the phone then stopped and I told him I will pay his debt with the lady... the lady seemed surprised and said it was okay and I should not bother paying, then I was still insisting that we went to the police station to report. We were walking when I stopped in one of the stores since the manager casually pointed one man to be the brother of our District Manager brother. I stopped for a while (just a tiny bit) to say hello and did not realize that the guy went straight ahead... I asked the manager where he was and he pointed and he was going to the other station-- actually it was just a detachment... there was not even a blotter there but he wrote a name and was talking to those police... ahh i can really feel something is wrong... anyway, I gave him money for the trip... money is just money anyway. I went back with the manager to the branch and stayed there a while and then cautioned him about the guy lest he come back. He told me that he sensed something fishy also and good that I was aware of it also. Then I asked the manager to bring me to the bus terminal and wait for me to ride before leaving me...

I did not think of that incident anymore since I was excited on my trip to Lucban. I just considered it as one of the unlucky events when I could be found in a place far far from home...

Then I told the story in the office and they have their own theories... ahh -- a stalker? a possible kidnapper? possible that he was also in the bus I took and went down when he saw me for a possible opportunity to dupe me???...hmmm.. probably thinks I am a sucker! Anyway, now that I think of it I am just glad that I asked the manager to go with me when I met him... plus that I am safe back home... and I hope that I never meet him again!!!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Trip to Quezon!

Just came home from Quezon province.
Went to Gumaca yesterday then to Lucena then to Lucban for the big Pahiyas celebration.
Except for the long trip and the heavy traffic going there and back, it was really a grand day!
I am tired but I am happy :-)
Wish there are more days like this...
I mean the celebration not traffic hehehe...

Thursday, May 12, 2005

The invitation

I found the invitation hard to resist. I had to stop and savor it for a while...

The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
~~~~ by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Cool rain!

Ahh it rained!!!
Heat's lessened...
Hope it rains again tomorrow!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Guitar girl!

I decided to pass by our clinic downstairs before clearing my desk and calling it a night. I thought I'd weigh myself... 136 lbs... I don't know when I will ever be able to get my old 145 lbs. weight back but I am still hopeful... Anyway, I saw Boyet from Operations and saw the guitars on top of the cabinets... thought I'd pass by and play the guitar for a while since only him and Hiyas were left...

I am a bit envious seeing Boyet and Tess play the guitar during our first Friday masses in the office while I get to be the lector... I would gladly trade places with Tess if she wants too but of course she wouldn't. Only Hiyas and Boyet were around so that I thought I'd be able to play some mass songs since Boyet has a songbook.

Ahh... I haven't played the guitar in a long long time and it felt good. So I was there strumming the guitar singing the songs that I know.. ocassionally having difficulty with some of the chords especially the "Eb" and the "sus" and "dim" but enjoying myself.

Boyet was just doing the backup of the files-- just waiting for the machine to say finished so finally decided to get the other guitar and play along too... I was strumming and singing while he was plucking his guitar...on some songs our blending was good, I think better than when he and tess plays together (of course I am biased... hehehe...) We played a lot and almost reached the end of the songbook when I asked what time it was... 8 o'clock! closing time and I haven't cleared my desk... they might have forgotten about me and closed the office upstairs... I immediately said goodbye to Hiyas and Boyet and rushed upstairs! I guess Boyet enjoyed our jamming too for he shouted that I could go back again tomorrow night while Hiyas who was there working (as usual over"tawad") added that I had a nice voice... hmmm... I was a songbird tonight and I played the guitar... Boyet also promised me he'd help me source a good and reasonable priced guitar. I felt great!!!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Another fare hike so BETHer take a walk!!!

So LTFRB has finally approved a jeepney fare increase by P2.00. That means minimum fare of P7.50 comes May 25! Yikes!!! Really SAD especially since there is no announcement of an increase in wage yet. You think there will be a reasonable increase????

Anyway, I cannot do anything about the increase, so I will just have to lessen or totally avoid my jeepney rides especially going to and from Binondo Church at noon... that will be P15.00 saved... oh okay make it P11.00 since P5.50 is the normal fare before I decided to stop (hmmm okay it will be hard to totally stop, especially when it is really HOT... or when it RAINS hard) plus the exercise will be good for me!

Actually I started walking tonight... had to go to again to the Binondo area from Recto... so I just walked and walked... no problem walking really except there are so many people going against my direction... then after I did my business in the area, walked again from Binondo to the Liwasang Bonifacio... this time there were no more people so I liked the walk.

Truth is I enjoy it when I get a chance to walk in that area. I particularly like walking at night in the bridge that overlooks the post office and the other bridge in Sta cruz side... At night time you don't really see the murky water, what you see instead is the reflection of the lined lights on the other bridge on the river...too bad the post office was not lighted, the view would have been better. There were not much crowd in Liwasang Bonifacio but the fountain was working so my walk was peaceful and joyful... that's a consolation which will not last since I don't walk there often and instead I have to face the cost of my daily commuting! Hay!!! buhay!!!

Sunday, May 08, 2005

A salute to all mothers!

Happy mother's day to mama and all moms in the world!

Thanks for all the love and caring you have given...
You have done well and for that...
you deserve a salute!!!


See not just from me but from the other girls in the office...

O sige na nga, you just don't deserve a salute but a beautiful song as well...

Sometimes, not often enough
We reflect upon the good things
And those thoughts always center
Around those we love


And I think about those people
Who mean so much to me
And for so many years have made me
So very happy


And I count the times I have forgotten to say
Thank you, and just how much I love them

-- lyrics by Felice Mancini, Music by Henri Mancini from the Carpenters album

Thanks again mama, I love you!!!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Is life worth living?

I got this picture from a book I am currently reading, Treasure in Clay, an autobiography of Fulton Sheen.


Is life really worth living?

Just now, I got a text message from an aunt in the province telling me that my uncle has lung cancer. I have to go online to send and read an mail to my aunt in the US to tell of what's happening while my cousin in Saudi has been crying and has a heavy heart.

Yesterday, I saw the girls in the office talking among themselves, complaining on how difficult life is... on how difficult to budget our very meager salary with the threat of another transporstation hike plus increase in the prices of goods with no clear sign of an adequate increase in salary...

Last night when I got home, I saw that the sidewalk in front of our gate has a hole again. The water company decided to transfer the water meters (all 78 meters) in front of the school which is beside our home so that people could no longer illegally tap on it but someone has dug and made an illegal connection again and we are affected... not only are we inconvenienced with that hole but we have to shoulder part of that in our water bill, and we can't do much!

Everyday, I see more and more people on the street begging... so many children snuffing rugby... and so many snatchers roaming around you have to closely hold on to your belongings...

Everyday, I see people fighting... shouting at each other...

and most days, I wake up with some pain, I can't even understand my body!

So is life worth living?

Today, I woke up with the chirping of birds (yeah it was hot but there were birds singing to me "Good Morning!")...

then I got an early funny good morning text message from a friend...

I got down and see my family (yeah my nieces and nephews were noisy already but they are healthy), and there's food on the table...

I went to our simple garden and I saw that the sampaguita has flowers already and there were more branches and leaves coming out... that the other plants are growing well and the grass is beginning to thicken.

I remember that despite the complaints from the girls in the office, we have time to eat together and share funny stories or unload our burdens so that others could comfort us...

I think about my uncle and realize that even if he is sick, that he has his family to help him, to share his pain and comfort him...

That despite so many children begging on the streets... so dirty... I could actually see them smile and play with other kids turning the streets and sidewalks into a big playground!

Life is really difficult... but there will always be moments of joy... moments to be thankful for...
I've got a family that loves me... friends that cares for me and a God that is with me.
So is life worth living???

YEAH! LIFE IS WORTH LIVING! I am glad I am alive!!!

Friday, May 06, 2005

Dreams

Got this in my email...

I write about dreams. I write about reality, truth, and basic facts of life, too.

I prefer dreams. They are bigger than reality. They are softer, firmer, wider, sometimes narrow, shorter and longer than truth. They don't cut, hurt, stop, or smack like the facts of life.

Dreams are what you make of them. They are like clay in the hands of the sculptor. You get them at first in a raw, unrecognizable form. Like the artist sees the image on the blank canvas, the dreamer sees the dream within the mass.

Dreams are alive. They are born from two parents, "Wish" and "Hope."

Dreams come alive when the dreamer awakens to The Source called, "Possibility."

The dreamer unknowingly begins the courtship with "I wish."

"I wish" flutters around within the mind. Subtle nudges from life seen first as "Coincidence" and brilliant sparks of "Imagination" combine over time to produce, "I hope."

"I hope" then becomes the mantra of the dreamer and the dream wanting to be born.

"I hope" is a wish with wings making it possible for the dreamer to see it all in motion.

Then comes the mating dance.
"Wish" and "Hope" wrap around, mix and blend together conceiving the embryonic form waiting, longing, wanting to be born into a dream.

"Wanting" is the seed of dreams. "Believing" is the nourishment that makes them possible.

Ah, but here is reality, truth, and the basic facts of life.

Not all dreams live on to become reality.

If they are NOT nourished with "Belief", they die.

If they are nourished with belief, but fail to be born, it is simply because they are aborted by the dreamer because of a lack of "Faith."

In the end all dreams depend on "Faith."

For dreams are the work of God within you.

Faith, is the tool, the instrument placed in the hand of the dreamer.

Oh, yes, I prefer dreams. They are God's plans for the world.

"I believe in you!"
Bob Perks Bob@BobPerks.com
I was thinking of something when I got this mail and it somehow made me smile... I am not really sure why, I just liked the mail. Reading it also made me remember Paulo Coehlo's quote that Dreams are the language of God and Napoleon Hill's famous quote "What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve."

I think I'll have an early night and start dreaming... very appropriate since I just got a text message in my mobile phone saying good night and sweet dreams or should I quote "Gud nyt and sweet dreams"

Maybe tomorrow... if I believe hard enough... it will become a reality...
Hehehe... that fast???

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Lost and found

Remember my post on the lost template?

Well Mrs T's blog is back! She has not really completely recovered her original template but all her posts including those from her temporary blog are there...plus lots of add-ons!

I liked the way she handled things when she lost her blog.
She was cool!
No... she did not really let go of her blog, she did something by calling blogger to see how she could recover it and she believed them when they said they would help her, but in the meantime she made a temporary blog to assure her friends and followers that everything would be okay... then she was starting to move on by posting some there too and when it was back... well she was happy... and her followers were happy too!

Made me think ---when you lose something.. you have to accept that it is lost.. if there is a possibility of having it back you do the things that has to be done but in the mean time you move on accepting the possibility that it can be lost forever... If it comes back again, you have to realize that it may not be the same as what it used to be.. there could be some things missing and there will be things that are added -- it is not really the same but the essentials are there... and you move on and put more life to it.. make it better... weaving the things you've done while it is gone and keeping them together...

It is a nice feeling when something you treasure that was lost is found!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Happy Talk!

I haven’t chat in a long long time but today I had a short chat with Anil, an online buddy.

I have not installed any messenger in my computer at home after it was reformatted by my brother—No Yahoo, no MSN no ICQ! I have not removed ICQ from my office machine though– NO, I haven’t used it in a long time and I am always in Invisible mode. I just like to have it running on background since it has an option to have your favorite buddy's name floating on your screen. However, instead of a floating name I changed the box to contain my prayer intention which I placed in the praying hands of Mama Mary which is my desktop. That way I get to pray even if I am not really praying (Does that make sense???)

Anyway, back to chatting. I really did not chat long, just a short hello from my Indian friend to say how his family was, some updates on the books his daughter “commands” him to read... and on my part, some encouragement on his writing… However, that short chat made me recall the fun and marathon chats I had before with my favorite online buddy. It also made me think of a "happy talk" song from the movie South Pacific (ahh that was such a long time ago but I could still recall the big native woman singing with her hands)

Happy talk, keep talking happy talk
Talk about things you like to do
You got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?

Talk about the moon floating in the sky
Looking at a lily on the lake
Talk about a bird learning how to fly
Making all the music he can make!

Happy talk, keep talking happy talk
Talk about things you like to do
You got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream
How you come not have a dream come true?

Talk about the sparrow looking like a toy
Peeking through the branches of a tree
Talk about the girl, talk about the boy
Counting all the ripples on the sea

Happy talk, keep talking happy talk
Talk about things you like to do
You got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream
How you come not have a dream come true?
Talk about the boy saying to the girl
Golly, baby, I'm a lucky cuss
Talk about the girl saying to the boy
You an' me is lucky to be us

Happy talk, keep talking happy talk
Talk about things you like to do
You got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream
How you come not have a dream come true?

If you don't talk happy, and you never have dream
Then you'll never have a dream come true!
It's good idea, you like? Ah ah ah!

Okay if you know it and wants to sing-a-long too just click HAPPY TALK :-)

I don't have happy talks, I mean chats anymore with my favorite buddy but I still have the memory and my dreams... happy talk, keep talking happy talk... Ah ah ah hmmm...

Monday, May 02, 2005

Hot...Hot...Hot!

Today was warm... actually the past weeks have been really warm and humid and the heat might even be more intense over the next days! YIKES! I wish it will rain, we sure need it!

I remember 10 years ago, there was also a heat wave not only in the Philippines but even in other countries. One night after I came from work, I saw my grandmother - Lola Bebe's nose bleeding...blood was oozing from her nose... they were not just drops but really oozing! I panicked! I thought she was going to die (she was in a sort of coma state... we can move her and she can chew but her eyes were closed almost all the time and she doesn't talk anymore...she could not complain of whatever discomfort she felt!), we brought her to the hospital and they were able to stop it... but she would bleed on succeeding days...one time there were even blood from her eyes! I really thought she was going to die so I asked my mother to go back to the country. My mother came and my grandmother got better! I am not sure anymore if maybe it was because she felt my mother's presence or maybe because the heat has somehow lessened...

Intense heat still make me remember the event and my Lola Bebe but she is in heaven now so she doesn't have to worry anymore of hot weathers!

I am not really a lover of cold weather-- my hands and feet turns purple when it is cold but I don't like this weather either. I really hope it rains... one really heavy downpour to remove the heat... then just drizzles on the following days...

Maybe I should do a rain dance... hmmm maybe I should start tonight before I sleep... that's an idea!!!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Miss Saigon

I saw Korina Sanchez’ Rated K on TV tonight, one segment featured some of the cast of the original Miss Saigon since she mentioned that the show had its final curtain call in London (Binaba na ang telon). Earlier today, I also read an article on the 30th anniversary of the communist victory over the US-backed government. I was interested of course since I too am a Miss Saigon.

Nope, I am not part of the Filipino casts of Miss Saigon… nor am I Vietnamese…
It is just that I was born there more than 40 years ago.

My father and I talked about one day visiting Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City) again together with my mother when he was still alive but such never happened. He had fun memories and adventures there… mama thinks the Saigon she knew to be beautiful too. I really have no memory of Vietnam since we left the place when I was still a baby. We stayed in Saigon and also near the border of the south and north... papa said that he thinks that one of the reason I am tall is because of our stay there... though there were no American troops yet at that time, there was already fighting between the north and the south and the sound of the passing helicopters and guns made me jerk which caused my bones to stretch... hehehe.

Anyway, If ever we get there to visit Saigon– mama and I, she will probably not recognize anything anymore. I am sure a lot has already changed. I’ve been to the tourism site of Vietnam and I can see how far they have gone… she will most likely enjoy its present beauty but more so, she’ll enjoy the place because she won’t be looking at it only with her eyes but with her heart… as she remembers the love she shared with papa while they were there!

Hope we are able to visit Vietnam soon!