Random thoughts... Happy Thoughts... Sad thoughts... Anything goes!!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Anticipating Christmas

Our boss went shopping during lunch break and already bought us shirts in different colors. They are going to be our Christmas gift but she couldn’t wait for Christmas and decided to give it immediately. She then asked all of us to pose for some picture taking. Jun Camba took our pictures.

Remember Jun? He is from Advertising and his Divisoria shot won big in a photo contest. He hasn’t given us a copy of his photo shots so we will have to wait for them. Anyway, as early as October, Jun already took Christmas pictures per department which he will use for our Christmas party’s banner comes the 19th of December. I am posting some shots taken for our department (well just some of the girls since others were on field assignment). All were taken on the roof top of our building!
The audit girls :)

Mitch,Karen and Klodz
Sonia with her Parol (Christmas lantern)

One more time.. the girls!
Jun wanted some wacky shots... I've always thought the girls in our department are pretty wacky but it seems we're pretty tame :) You should have seen some photos of the other department, they were really nice but Jun didn't include them in his gallery.

You know what the Christmas season also brings to our place? Traffic and hordes of shoppers! And for me stress!!! :(

So many people look forward to Christmas season but it is not really the best time for me. I feel overloaded with the materialism and it is highlighted in this season...

Someday, I'd want to spend the days leading to Christmas in place where I don't experience traffic, shoppers and chaos. Where PEACE dwells all through the holiday season. Is there such place? I dunno maybe it is just in the heart...

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Christ the King

Today is the solemnity of Christ the King.

Fr. Stephen, MSC featured a video in his blog a few weeks ago and I thought It would be very appropriate for today. I saved the link in case he featured another video and I may not be able to find it in Youtube. It is a nice video which shows the different portraits of Christ.

People look at Him differently but He is the same forever.

I remember a parish priest in our chapel a long time ago who would let us sign a prayer song not just in the procession of the Christ the King but it would be a big part of the eucharistic celebration on His feast day. Some of the priests there don't sing it but I liked singing it so much:

Christus vincit, Christus regnat, Christus imperat!

Chirst wins, Christ reigns, Christ rules!

He does! :)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Young at heart!

Today is another special day for our family...

It's the birthday of one beautiful woman...

My mom!

Don't you agree?
Mama has aged through the years...
She has lost weight...
and she has lots of white hair now...
though that's more brought about
by her hyperactive grandchildren
than because of age...

I really thought her to be pretty and I remember when I was younger that I would ask her why she has to put on make up when she is already beautiful! She doesn't need it! And she would tell me that I too would be putting on make up when I was older. Well I'm lots older now but I never did put on make up. I still think that my mom looks beautiful even without makeup and I still believe that she has no need for it. She just have to flash her smile and her beauty shows! She really got a nice smile!

Sometimes she loses that smile though when my one of my nieces and nephews especially this one teases her. They are really hyperactive kids and enjoy teasing her... Sometimes she loses her cool and gets mad at them but she can't help herself from still caring for them... ahhh grandmothers!!!

Her smile easily gets back though when she watches her favorite telenovelas. She really enjoys the telenovelas! And I also see a big smile because she will celebrating her birthday not just with her family but because she also gets to see some of her friends today in their retirees' day!

Big day for all of us and I am calling a day off from the office to be with her!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Golden Angel

A long time ago, I requested something from the online community – it was not something just online like an email or anything but something tangible. Most of those who responded where my friends – both online and from here but I was surprised and delighted to get an answer from a total stranger. Just someone who read my plea and gave her support. I did not ask for anything really big, it was something simple but how many people really would go out of their way to offer a hand to a total stranger, maybe even a "nutty" stranger like myself? :)

Well, Jane is one of those. She’s an angel.

Over the years we would send emails from time to time, mostly just forwarded inspiration messages. Funny but sometimes these inspirational messages comes just when I need them.

Anyway, I know that today is her birthday… her GOLDEN year! (okay she doesn’t feel it and many people tell her she doesn’t look it either… I guess it is because she’s one young soul totally blessed by God)

I couldn’t really offer her much but just a warm wish for happiness!

I thought I’ send a princess
to blow her more love...
more joy...
more peace...
more happiness...
and lotsa more of GOD's blessings!

Happy golden birthday to an angel!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Simple something for Erik

Okay this one’s for a really good friend.

Click on the image Erik!
Were you surprised?
Hope that one made you smile…

And since you are special
I’d like to share another message!

So click on the image once again!
Flowers for you!
You’re too far to send them flowers…
Plus do you really send flowers to guys???
Well you could use them for Janet's patio :)

Anyway, you are really a good friend…

We rarely talk online…
We don’t also send emails that often…
But I do feel your presence especially when I’m down
And I really appreciate it.
I wish you the best on your birthday!
And I know that one of your desire is
to always see your lovely wife Janet smiling…
so I also wish good health for Janet.
Hope you are all happy over there!


Take care always!

See… I’m excited for your special day!
I made sure I greet you when the clock strikes 12:00!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Hanging heart

This is Jeff Koons' Hanging heart. I found it yesterday and i was struck by its beauty!

Actually I was struck first by the amount it was sold at an auction…US$23.6 million! That’s soooooooo expensive!!!

So many people (okay organizations too) have so much money that it seems that they just throw them away at anything even senseless things to other people so that one should not really be shocked by the amount… still one can’t help thinking how such money could have been used for more noteworthy purpose… like maybe giving some of them to poor little me?

Hehehe… the thought did cross my mind but I’m not really condemning or anything… just the thought of “wow, that’s pretty expensive!”

Anyway, I was really fascinated by the sculpture. It is indeed very beautiful and I wanted to see more settings but so far the one in the picture seems to be the best for the background and the reflections added to the beauty.

Then I started thinking, will I feel the same awe if I see it for real?

It is huge at almost 9 feet. I wonder how it feels to be looking at it up close and I have this picture in my mind to be looking at it just by myself so I see my reflection and no other images to clutter it (I wish I could say that I wouldn’t even see my reflection but that would be impossible if I want to come real near) and I would really marvel at its beauty… Just be there for a long time watching it being in awe!

Suddenly, another thought came to my mind. Yes, it is beautiful but its beauty is only to be seen, I think what would be more beautiful is to see with your spirit the real heart of a loving person. It will definitely not be smooth and perfect like Koon's sculpture but the love it brings would not only touch your eyes and other senses but fill your whole being!

Yup, that indeed will be better but for now I am at awe at the hanging heart's beauty! :)

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Bad weather imagination!

It has been raining the whole day today! I wish it was just cloudy but not rainy... but NO… it rained and I got wet! That despite having an umbrella…

Guess I should have a bigger umbrella but I prefer my 3-fold really small black umbrella which I carry in my bag rain or shine, it is ultra light anyway.

One of my officemates noted my umbrella on our elevator ride down our building during lunch break. He was impressed by its smallness and the others in the elevator agreed. Indeed it was small but I said that I wish there was an umbrella the size of a pen which you can just put in your pocket and one of the girls commented that it was impossible. I countered that who knows they might just invent an ultralight but strong metal and they could easily make a pen-like umbella...then I further added that maybe it would be better if instead of umbrella there is just a portable force field which you can switch on and you’re shielded from the rain (your whole body including your feet!)…

Ahhh you wish there was, especially on bad weathers like today! :)

Monday, November 12, 2007

Tatay Felipe

I got news from my cousin that his father died yesterday. He was 98 years old. Tatay Felipe is actually a nephew of my grandfather and his wife, Nanay Garing was the niece of my grandmother so that my father and his siblings and Tatay Felipe’s children share the same middle name and surname. Tatay Felipe and my grandfather were adventurous people from Bicol who came to settle in Negros. They were together for a homestead adventure in Mindanao but returned to their families in Negros during World War II. Somehow these common bonds and shared adventures made our families closer compared to other relatives in the province.

Tatay Felipe was in the hospital when I visited him last month. That was the first time I think that he was ever in a hospital and I was not used to seeing him lying down in bed. I always remember his smile when I would first see him on each of my vacation in our province. He is always seated at the back of the church and that’s where I would stay also and his face will always light up and show a nice smile when he does see me and ask when I arrived. He was a lean man but was strong. He still took charge of their farm even in his old age. It is only this last year that he has stopped taking care of their farm since one of my cousins already took over. My other cousin has set aside a cow early on for his 100th birthday. Every body felt he could easily make it. However, when Nanay Garing died sometime in August his health also declined.

It is somehow sad to be losing someone but the thought that he will once again share the sweet smile of his wife is comforting.

I found this picture a long time ago...

For me it depicts happiness.

Just seeing those happy smiles on the sleeping wrinkled faces made me also smile. I’d like to imagine them both happy together where they are. Yep, i think they are happy and at rest where they are and that makes me somehow lighthearted.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Highlighting a heavy heart

Yesterday I felt light hearted, tonight I have a heavy heart and it is all because of a highlighter I wanted to purchase.

After going to church this afternoon, I decided to pass by the mall to buy a highlighter since my old highlighter was already out of ink. I was having difficulty reading the tons of school materials in my computer that I printed them and I wanted to highlight important items.

The church was just a short distance to the mall and I noted that there were so many people going inside the mall. The security people have to frisk every one entering that there was a long line in all their entrances. I was having second thoughts going there but still I pushed through. I wanted a highlighter! The bookstore was also crowded but the area I was going to get the highlighter was just near the cashier so I joined the crowd. Suddenly I felt my bag light! I thought my wallet and checked it and it was gone. It was so fast, I turned to check but there were so many people around me. I immediately went to the nearby guard to report the theft but he was at a lost on what to do, he had no radio to signal the guard on the other side. I created a small commotion and a woman approached me and said that her daughter saw the woman who snatched my wallet from my bag. She described the woman as small wearing white T-shirt and she was with a child in blue-green shirt. I knew I’m not going to get my money but I was hoping to get my wallet back since my ATMs, credit cards and IDs are there. The security guard of the bookstore reported the incident to the roving guard who passed by the bookstore. There were police officers in the main entrance of the mall and when I reported to them, they were also at a loss. I think they considered my reporting more like an interruption to their rest since they were just seated their in their desk reading newspaper (you wonder why they have to be there) They also know that there is no way I am going to recover my wallet and just advised me to report also to the mall’s security… they even told me to go to the police precinct…I said what? There is no police precinct near my area, beside didn’t I already report to them? The mall security were more concerned though they too know that there was no way I was going to get my money back but that sometimes their janitors get wallets thrown by thieves so I might just recover the IDs. They also said that they also had previous reports of female snatcher with child accomplice.

So the loss and my contact information are logged in the police blotter (am not even sure if it is a blotter or just a log book) and the mall security. I have also reported the loss to the banks. Luckily, I checked my credit cards at home and I realized that I did not bring any and left them in my card case (and that somehow lessened my heavy heart) but I will have to get replacement IDs and ATMs. Arghh!!! That’s going to take time and effort.

Ahhh… sometime some things happen so fast that you are caught of guard you don’t know whether to get mad or to blame your self for being careless. I don’t really feel like blaming myself and I’m also not in the mood to feel “goody-goody” and rationalize that the culprit was probably in need and need my money more… Okay, I’m not going to curse her either but the law of compensation is at work and I know that the money will not do her any good. Eventually she will have to pay for her crime in some way. And my loss and inconvenience? it is just temporary and I know I’m going to get more eventually… Hehehe… suddenly feels like I’m pep talking myself. Suddenly, my heart is not heavy anymore but I sure am hungry, hope they already have dinner ready!

Tomorrow is another day… a better day hopefully!

Saturday, November 10, 2007


Our service team meeting after our C.L.P. ended late. It was already dark when we left the church. The church was in a posh subdivision but we had to pass by a stretch of grassy area to get to the main road. The air was cool and there were lots of stars shining in the sky that we decided to walk… the whole bunch of us. Most were taking their time walking… well I wasn’t really in a hurry but guess some of us just walked faster than the rest so that we were ahead most of them by a far distance. I was walking with two other women and we were talking while walking… then we were nearing the grassy area. We can see the tall grasses along the road, what was beyond we cannot see for the grasses were really tall and the land was sloping upward. Though there were light posts, the area was still dark. One girl who was following us told us that she feels scared walking in these areas.

Suddenly I stopped!

On those tall grasses came flickering white bright lights! Lots of them! It was like the stars decided to flicker on the earth below and I made sure that I just wasn’t seeing the reflection of the stars below. I wasn’t! They were real flickering lights! Fireflies! Lots of them! I have not seen fireflies in a long time that seeing them made my heart lighthearted. Their flickering bright lights were beautiful!

It was a while that I stopped to watch and noted that the lights were flickering along a bigger stretch so I moved on slowly after telling the other women how wonderful those lights were. My eyes were no longer on the road but on the grassy area. There was a big smile on my face and I can feel the smile even in my heart. I haven’t felt that kind of joy in my heart for a while that I felt really good!

Funny how something simple could make you lighthearted… but sometimes that’s just the way it is and you can only be thankful for that moment. It will be a long while before I’ll probably pass that way again on a dark night but I sure am glad I did. :)

Friday, November 02, 2007

Back to school

Finally, after getting my enrollment keys (courses passwords) and several days of checking our school online site, there’s an entry from one of my faculty-in-charge (a.k.a. professor). That means the beginning of another online school year… ahhh hard work again!

The FIC presented the course outline, his credentials and his policies and his last note was that he is STRICT!

Suddenly made me remember those words being said by our Business Law professor in the university. On his first day, he too talked about his policies. He knew our class was an honors’ class but told us not to expect high grades from him because he has never done so in his teaching career. He added that we should not expect any acknowledgement from him if we ever see him and greet him outside our classroom. He ended his discourse with “…and class, I am very strict!” to which one of my classmates whispered (loudly) to her seatmate “Ano daw?” (What’s that again?) and hearing her he shouted “I AM VERY STRICT!!!”

Those words really shook my whole body! I could hear my heart beating and could not control my legs from shaking for a long time even if I tried to hold it down! Boy, was I really scared! One classmate, fearing to get a low grade, immediately decided to transfer class.

Our professor started out as one mean professor who was beyond being strict! He was unreasonable and demanding too! But what can I say, our class was unique. The students were diligent, intelligent (hehehe am I boasting???), wacky and charming that he eventually melted to us like chocolate. He mentioned that he wouldn’t acknowledge us if we ever see him outside class. Baloney! Eventually you could see his sweet smile whenever he saw any of us outside class. What more? Most of us got good grades!

So, my new professor? He is strict but I’m sure that he’ll be a good teacher and facilitator too. His style seems different from my previous professors but I’m sure that it will be another interesting class. Looking forward to it! :)

Flirty bubbly Maru

Maru, my favorite niece is staying with us again. She recently changed work and is now on training in another BPO that is nearer our place. She came home from the office a bit late today (her off was 6:00 am and she should have been home 6:30 but came around 8:00 already). I was in our teanie weanie garden getting off weeds when she came and I asked her if she had “highlights” to share and as usual she had tons of it! She even had pictures to show in her mobile phone of new people she met including a “hot” guy!

Her story was continuous! She started sharing with me then went on sharing some more with others over breakfast as usual most were laughing. I guess mama is a bit lost on some of her stories and would be shocked from time to time but I think that deep inside she too was laughing. One can’t help laughing when Maru is in a mood for story and there being a cute and “hot” guy that made a pass at her so early in the morning made her more bubbly and even more eager to share the events of the day!

She has made a name in her training group as a flirt. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it is in no way an insult to her since people around her are actually happy being with her and would usually tell it to her laughing or smiling… and truth is she is one BIG flirty Filipina and she enjoys it! I guess she thinks like she can say “funny” sometimes even double-meaning and obscene things because people would just take it as a joke… she’d be too shy and not really say anything flirty if she is around a guy she’s really crazy about who would take her word seriously. Anyway, we laughed, raised our eyebrows and laughed some more over her stories during breakfast and now she is catching sleep replenishing her energy for another adventure tomorrow…

She’s sleeping right now and I’m here thinking about her and my relationship with her. She’s my very first niece and she was really cute and witty (ah yes very witty) when she was a little child. She’s so big now but still feels very sexy…hehehe… and she is real sexy since she has this big sexy mind! Hahaha!!! She could be so impulsive too and could be totally in love that she wouldn’t care about the effect of her acts on others and just savor the joy of the moment… I remember throwing her out of the house at one time (well actually I just gave my mom an ultimatum either she goes or I go… I think you’d be so mad too and kick her out when you find out you have to pay P20,000.00 just for her phone bills) but still I can’t stay mad at her for a long time. She seems to have that special place in my heart. Sometimes I feel sad though because I know how good she is yet sometimes doesn’t seem to care about her life but still I know that her concept of happiness and mine are not really the same. I can’t really live her life for her and my joy is not necessarily her joy. But when we have these kinds of moments when I see her very happy, it also gives me great joy!

Ahh… my flirty bubbly niece… the laughter you share… I wish it always fills your total being too!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Day for the dead

It is so appropriate for the recent holidays... someone stole the telephone wires again in our neighborhood and so our telephone is dead again! This has happened so many times already and would usually be done on long breaks when the telephone company would not be available for servicing that my brother and sis-in-law finally subscribed to another telephone company for a backup. So our internet connection at the moment is with their other line and not our original line. It is not as fast but it is working and I am able to make a post :)

Today we remember our dearly departed and as has been our tradition we went to the cemetery. As usual there were a lot of people there and the place looks like a big picnic. The tents were colorful and some were bigger than in prior years. We no longer brought a tent but just 2 big outdoor umbrellas since there were only 4 of us that came today. My sister and her family came last night and she told me that there were already lots of people there that night, some of them going to stay overnight. My other siblings and their family will be coming tomorrow.

Most people that go to the cemetery for the celebration of UNDAS (all saints/souls day) usually spend it as a reunion especially for those who are visiting their dead Lolos and Lolas (grandparents). They get to see cousins and other relatives they don’t see often. In our case, we don’t really spend it as a reunion since our family already gets together often and we also visit the cemetery often but more as a special day for remembering our departed loved ones. We only get to visit papa and my Lola Bebe since the grave of our other departed are in the provinces, though I already visited my other Lola’s grave on my vacation early last month.

I did not have a chance to visit the church in the cemetery. I did not hear mass being broadcasted on the loud speaker of the church there and instead attended the service in our parish church tonight. I did not go home immediately and just stayed in the adoration chapel for a long while.

I was thinking about death… no not death for the people that frequently steals our telephone wire and sells them in the junk shop… but death. Why people are afraid to die? I remember boasting so frequently in the past that I could die any day and it will be okay. Well that is until I got sick and was in and out of the hospital a long time undergoing several operations. I went into depression and was getting hopeless and was angry considering that it shouldn’t have been so in the first place but I wasn’t healing and I was frustrated until one time I actually laughed at myself and told myself “ang yabang yabang mo! (you are so boastful!) You said that you were not afraid to die and here you are just sick and not really dying and you keep on complaining!” I was thinking, why was I complaining? If worse comes to worse and I die, so what? Didn’t I tell people that I wasn’t afraid to die? But I felt down. It is hard being sick and losing hope. So it was not really death that I am afraid of but pain especially prolonged pain and the thought that it might not end soon.

People have different reasons for fearing death but it is inevitable. It is not really something that you wish on yourself but it will surely come. I don’t know when my time will be up but when it finally comes I pray that I am at peace. Death came differently for my dearly departed, some were sudden some suffered pain a long time. I wasn’t around for most of them when they took their last breath but I hope that they too were at peace on that last breath and that they are now happily rested where they are!