A knee on a knee…

It has been more than a month since I tripped and hurt my head and knees and I still have traces of the injury. The lump on my head is now very small and could not be seen, only felt…. The left knee is okay just a bit still dark but the funny thing is I’ve got another “knee” on my right knee!

Well it is actually a lump (which feels a bit like a hardened mass) on my knee so that it looks like a mini-knee on the knee. I don’t know when or if it will be totally gone but hopefully soon since I’d like to be able to wear the new skirt I bought today. It was not really a planned purchase but something I bought on impulse (which is rare). I was just passing through 168 mall as shortcut to another street when I saw the skirt. I thought it was nice and the owner gave me a good price when I haggled since I was their first customer…so now I’ve got a neat black skirt which I am not sure yet when I’ll be able to use.

Anyway back to my knee…

I don’t like the knee on my knee… it looks weird and funny. However, I knew someone who was proud to have a big lump on her right knee…ohhh and it was a lot bigger than my lump but not dark though like mine is.

My maternal grandmother, Lola Feling, had a lump on her knee. It looks funny too since she was a thin woman with thin legs but she was really proud of it. She is a very prayerful woman and she got that lump from her constant kneeling in church. She would show us her knee and would smile as she says how she got it.

One time when she was hospitalized, the doctor noted the lump and told her to have it removed and be checked. She said “No way!!!” There was nothing wrong with her knee for she knew exactly where she got it… that lump reminds her of her prayers and of her loving God and I believe she saw it as something really beautiful!

Well, I know where I got my lump… it reminds me of being clumsy and I ain’t really proud out it, so I hope it will be gone soon!

Dalaginding

We were having lunch at home when my brother mentioned that there is now a new meaning for dalaginding (girl in her pre-teens). So we asked what’s the new meaning and he said “dalagang bading” and we all laughed. Filipinos are really good at coining words. DALAGA means an unmarried woman while BADING is gay term for bakla which means “gay”. He said there’s going to be a segment on them from Jessica Soho’s report.

Well I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to see that segment but there sure is a lot of those dalagindings in my neighborhood and many of them converge in front of our gate almost every night. Why our place? Well, unfortunately our place has the only working light post in our neighborhood and there are places to sit around so they feel very comfortable here…

It used to be that you see gays mostly in beauty parlors but now they are everywhere and they are really starting out very young. Some of those that hang around in our place could just be around 10 years old (though most would be around 15 to 18) and they wear really very short shorts and fitting t-shirts and they are already good at swaying their hips and projecting a “sexy aura” and they are very noisy when they get together… as in really noisy!!!

One time I saw one of them dressed in a tight fitting gown showing off her figures to the rest of his (or should it be her?) friends. Sometimes I see them practicing for beauty contests showcasing their talents (singing and dancing) and even doing a question an answer portion. There have been times when I saw them playing some kind of weird gay games but most times they just hang around an talk and just express their gayness… you sort of get used to them hanging around since it is no use getting mad at them since they don’t pay attention to you when you tell them to be silent or go home since it is already late and people in my home needs their rest… and even if you report them to your Barangay, they don’t really do much about it (though there was one instance when they were actually rounded up and forced to stay in detention for the whole night)… sometimes they could get too noisy though that if you could you’d like to just hit the light post with a stone so that our place won’t be lighted anymore and they would all go home or maybe wish that you have a magic wand and cast a spell on them that they all turn to “macho man with frog like figures” if they don’t leave our place at 10 pm (hehehe… they will all freak out for sure if they turn to frogmen)

As I said you get use to them and you don’t really want to interfere since it is their life after all… however, one of my nephews is acting up strange and already fixing his hair a lot putting them behind his ears… Yikes, we better do something already else he joins their crowd and invite them all inside our home… gosh the noise would be too much for me to bear for sure and it is not just their gay noise but I could imagine mama’s freaking voice shouting for all of them to shut up…

Ok… it is late, I guess I better shut up too!

Fragments...

I was in a room where some of the people I know were having an informal class. I was thinking how lucky they are to be in that class. Suddenly my eye went to the far side of the room and it was like a small stage… it was not really just a platform since there seems to be an exit to the right side which was lighted. I saw two old women with white long hair with a big basket in front of them. There was a child in that basket… am not really sure anymore if there was just a child or two children… but I was watching them and the women were not really looking at the basket but their eyes were directed on the right side… so I too moved where I could see what was on that place and there was another child there this time inside a big basin with water…

I was talking with one of the women in the class when suddenly those two women came in a cloud and took both of my hands… I got scared!!! they were pulling me but I was resisting.. I was asking the woman with me to help me but she could not do anything… they were pulling me and I was slowly giving in and I did not want to.. so I prayed the OUR FATHER and I kept repeating it particularly the words deliver me from every evil… just saying them over and over while pulling myself away from those two women until finally I was able to and I run…

I got out from the room and from that building at last feeling safe…

I was entering a mall and I suddenly felt that at the end of that mall is a passage to the building I was before and suddenly I did not want to go on… I tried to turn back but suddenly there was no more people and only a hallway with endless door ahead of me… I run trying to find a way out but the passage kept getting longer and the doors were just there… I kept running and running and I was not getting anywhere… I prayed the OUR FATHER again.. just saying it over and over… running and praying until finally I got out of the building…

There were people now but I was scared and I was panting and I saw an officemate. He held my hand and asked what was wrong and I was telling him what happened to me… but I suddenly felt his grip getting tight and I looked at him and there was a different look on his face… and I could feel his nails trying to get something from my fingers and I knew that something was wrong again and I was trying to get my hands away but I could not and again I prayed the OUR FATHER… just saying it over and over while struggling with him until I woke up!

Those are just fragments from my dream. I could not recall most things now (like what happened when i looked at the child in the basin... i knew there was more but i could not remember anymore)...but when I got up at around 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. the dream was so vivid and I felt so afraid. I thought it was very real! I woke mama and told her I was having bad dream… I remembered the holy water my officemate gave me and got some and made the sign of the cross and told mama to just hold my hand. I thought I would not be able to sleep again but thanks God I did and no more bad dream.

It is very seldom that I dream… well my friend says that everybody dreams but mostly I don’t recall having a dream when I wake up in the morning. Oftentimes just a few minutes after lying in bed I am dead to the world and would wake up in the morning already. Even if the lights are turned on or even if there are noises outside, oftentimes i would not be aware of them. I wake up when it is time to wake up!

Guess last night was one of those exceptions but I am thankful that it was just a dream and I hope I don’t dream again tonight… well okay a nice dream would do but definitely not one that I had last night.

Mother's day

This has been a long and busy weekend. I have been out of the house almost all the time.. okay that would be an exaggeration since I get to be home in the evening but somehow I feel tired…Yet I don’t really want to end the day without making a post since this is a special day for mothers.

I pray for the all mothers especially for my mama. We didn’t really have a get together today unlike in previous years but I did greet her immediately when I woke up (with a matching kiss, of course) plus I did an errand for her and I was thinking while on the road that doing it with a light heart was my gift… Hmmm… does that sound like a justification for not giving her a true gift??? Hehehe…. Actually we don’t really give gifts in our home for birthdays and most occasions but mostly we have a simple celebration together and if someone can’t make it on time… then she eats the food prepared which the family left for her (in this case just spaghetti since I am a bit broke these days… darn those electric bills that got a big share of the expense this month!!!).

Anyway, I was planning to blog early and rest early but another mother (that will be my “caregiver sis”) asked to talk in YM and we had a long chat. She was sharing with me her experiences and telling me that she’s finding it hard to finish her work on time… why??? Because she can’t help herself talking with her patients… she can’t JUST do her normal duties when she knows that they would want to talk or show her something… she cannot refuse… hehehe… of course she would find it hard to refuse she’s a talker like myself (by the sound of her.. she also enjoys the talks and it seems the patients enjoy talking with her too)… and I know that she does care for them after all she’s a MOM…

Me… I am not a mom… our home have never run of children (right now there are 5 toddlers at home)… but none of them ever came from my womb… still I think I had somehow experienced how to be a mom for all the children that ever stayed in our home.. of course none of them will ever call me mom.. I am quite content being called Tita (Aunt) Beth and okay I’ll also get used to being called Lola (grandaunt) Beth… BUT comes June I am finally going to be a mother…

Okay.. okay… there won’t be a miracle for there’s a prefix that goes with the mother… I’ll be a GODMOTHER!!! So why all the capital letters??? Because it is not just a godmother to children on their baptism and confirmation (I’ve done that before) BUT a godmother in a wedding.

Me... a godmother in a wedding??? YIKES I am getting old!!!

And talking of old… I guess this old gal has to get her sleep ‘coz her eyes couldn’t keep up anymore…

Happy mother's day to all! God bless all mothers and godmothers to be...hehehe. I want to share in God's blessing too!)

Exercise

I am back to my old weight for almost 2 months now and I like it. Actually the build up started last late December when I started taking Xango mangosteen juice. It is expensive and I had to be a member to get a wholesale price (which is still expensive considering I am spending in pesos) but for me it was worth it since I feel good!

Anyway, when I lost weight it had come to a point where sitting hurts since I could feel my butt bones touch the chair… my pants became baggy and I had to change size and it has been so for a long while BUT NOW that I’ve gained weight most of the weight went to that area and the stomach and they came with vengeance!!! Hehehe… so I’ve really got to exercise!

Apart from walking which is something I enjoy, the only thing I do everyday is stretching.. they are a just teenie weenie movements when I get up in the morning…
Starting on one side

Then both sides…

But I do stretch all parts of the body (I think)
And when I am in the mood and have more time…
I sway more and include some turning…

But I guess those won’t be enough now…
I’ve really got to add some sit ups (yikes!!!)

And work more on having a total work out

That will definitely work…
Hmmm… Now if I could just convince my body to do it!!!

My caregiver sis!

My sister sent me a chikka message telling me that she got her first paycheck as caregiver. You could sense her joy even by just reading the text message! Guess she was very happy because if you convert what she received to Peso it was a big amount!

My sister is currently in Australia and will be there till December. Her husband got a grant to study there for a year and could bring along his family. They decided that it would be a good experience for the whole family to go there since their sponsor would take care of their accommodation (nice home by the way) and assist them in finding school for the kids plus they could get working visa while there.

The kids easily adapted to the school there and my sister is getting used to NOT having someone to help her with housework so she thought it was time to get a job… she couldn’t find work in her field so she worked as caregiver in an elderly home. Nope, she did not enroll in a caregiver course while she was here but she did ask me for pointers/notes (for her interview) since I took care of my grandmother before. She’s actually very good with taking care of the sick be it a child or an older person. Mama preferred her over me when she was in the hospital early this year since I could be soooo clumsy now while she is so systematic and neat and could stay awake for long hours. I was good taking care of my Lola Bebe before but now I am older and don’t have the same energy as ten years ago…

She was telling us that she has already washed a lot of butts and there’s "high tech" washing and a "low tech" washing… high tech involves hydraulics and with low tech they will have to carry the patient so more effort on their part. They don’t have to worry with the diaper disposal nor the urinals though since everything is fully automated! She says that their service is also based on the patient’s payments… higher payment means high tech service… of course that only refers to devices used since quality service would still come from people! She also says that her knees are now black from constant kneeling…. She prefers kneeling than bending when changing the patients since she has scoliosis and she would not want to strain her back too much! Overall though she likes her work (except for the exhaustion and strain) since MOST (not all) of the patients are nice…

My sister is basically a caring person… intelligent and witty… wholesome and could be real funny when she wants too (she takes from me after all…hehehe… did I include egotistical??? Kidding!!!) plus when she works she really gives her full attention so I am sure that she’ll be able to give not just caring for those elderly people but also joy!

She is so far from us and can’t get physical support so I send her lots of prayers. May she always be well and happy! God bless you ‘Te… ingat ka lagi dyan! Sana din makakita ka ng work sa field mo para mas enjoy ka dyan! (teka di ka nga pala nagbabasa ng blog ko!) di bale na send na lang ako ng angel to watch over you!

Son of the sun!!!

Today is labor day (oops no longer today.. but that would be yesterday since I am making this post late!!!) and we had no work... so a long weekend for us laborers!!!

It would have been cool to just stay at home and catch up on rest but I have been real busy during the long weekend doing all sorts of errands and activities... what was hard was travelling from one place to another to accomplish the tasks and attend my activities since it has really been hot and humid... plus one moment you are perspiring then next moment you'll be in an airconditioned area... sometimes i would already be in an airconditioned area and i would still be sweating and would ask my companion (been with different people) if it was just me or it was really hot.... hehehe... wondered if maybe i was having hot flushes! but good thing they all said that it was really hot!!!

Anyway, i really did not enjoy staying in the sun but i thought I was still lucky since I don't really have to stay in the sun most of the time... i only get exposed when i travel (have not joined the big crowd that have been going to the beaches and resorts to enjoy the summer!) and i have been seeing and thinking about those people that have to stay in the heat of the sun to earn a living... those in construction.. the vendors.. my field auditors who go directly to our customers to confirm their accounts... the messengers... the delivery crew...the farmers... the fisherfolks...so many of them... all laborers... all sons of the sun!
i thought i'd send them each an angel to keep them cool and protect them while working...