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Sunday, February 03, 2008

Lola Feling

Today is the 10th year death anniversary of Lola Feling, my paternal grandmother. She died just a few weeks after papa died. She was 89 when she died. She was the last of my grandparents to leave us.

When my father died, his 2 sisters in the USA went home. That was the first time my other aunt had been back to the country after such a long time… more than 30 years. She did not have a chance to see my father alive but she was able to see my grandmother alive. Although, they were able to see each other in the USA since my grandmother stayed with my other aunt for a long time, they were not able to spend so much time together.

My grandmother migrated to the US in the early 80’s I think. She was popular wherever State my aunt’s family stayed since she was a nice and kind woman who had lots of stories to tell. She stayed in the US for quite a while and even got her citizenship. But USA is not her home! Her heart is here… well not even Manila but our province!

She wanted to go back but my aunt wanted her there, probably thinking that life is better there. One time she fell and went into coma. My aunt was scared and only when she whispered in her ear that she can come home did she regain consciousness.

She was happy to be back. People in the province were happy to have her back. And I would come to the province often then. Every time I was there she would tell a lot of stories and I would listen. Sometimes I’d see my aunt making faces since she says that it is the Nth time Lola was telling it. I didn’t mind. I guess that’s the advantage of being a bit forgetful, I enjoyed her stories and think something new every time she says it. I enjoy feeling her emotion as she tells her stories. I always loved reading and listening to stories and could easily get entertained listening to stories of long ago. I enjoyed listening to her adventures, those of my grandfather’s, our ascendants, the people from the place… simple stories of value to her.

I got to join some of her prayers too. Ohhh she prayed a lot… she prayed constantly… she prayed silently.

She was sick a lot already during the last days of her life. In fact she was also in grave condition when my father got sick and went into coma that my aunt could not leave her. When my father died and my aunt had to leave she only told her that papa was sick. When she got back there after my father’s funeral together my other aunts, they still did not tell her papa died. Finally one night they told her and she told them she knew. She said papa came to her and told her. Was it in her dream, a gut feel or a real visit of papa’s spirit? I don’t really know. But she knew that papa was gone.

She left when her children were not by her bedside. I guess she did not want them to see her suffering in her last breath. She did suffer a bit but she went in peace.

She was ready to meet her master… and her husband and son who went ahead of her.

We knew that how much she loved her home here but her new home is far better than we could ever offer and that’s where she’ll happily stay for all eternity!


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