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Sunday, July 06, 2008

Am not invincible :(

I have been so busy that I have not made a post for quite a while. It was my choice of course since as much as I love to write, I have other priorities…

Somehow most things boil down to my choice but sometimes some things happen that are not my choice…

Last Friday I worked overtime as usual and left the office at 8:00 pm. I get my main ride in the University belt where there are lots of people taking their rides... waiting for an FX that goes in ones direction to come. My way have a lot of people waiting and oftentimes you run up to your ride when it comes to be able to take one of the seat in a 10-seater FX . So I was there and there were a lot of people waiting. The FX that comes stops in different areas so that people nearest would be able to get a place, there were a lot of FX that came in my direction but I was not able to get into so that when I saw one that did not stop where a lot of people are but moved further, I run as fast as I could! I reached the 4-seater back seat and one man was ahead of me already so I got in and seated myself thankful that I was able to get in. Then two men also rode at the back. There was still vacant seats in the middle and I would have wanted to transfer since it was more comfortable but there were already two blocking my way and it would be difficult to get off plus other passengers eventually came to the middle seats after all.

I was busy on my thoughts thinking about a lot of things including work in the office. The first passenger ahead of me already said his destination and paid his fare, later on the other guy beside him mentioned where he was getting off and also paid. I did not understand where he was getting off but I let it slip, I was too busy thinking. Then after some time, that man in front of me told the driver to stop. The FX was still in the middle of the road and have not gone to the side when he opened the door and put out a knife and told me to give my bag. I wouldn’t, then the man beside me also put a knife on my side. I was hesitant to give my bag I had so much in it and I never thought that these men mean business. The other passengers looked but could not do anything even the man in front of me could not do anything. The man in front near the door pushed his knife towards me and the other man also pushed his. I let go of my bag! They crossed to the other side of the road. I locked the door and told the driver to drive in reverse but he did not move. We stayed there for a while, while the other passenger asked how I was. I said I was fine, no blood. One said sometimes there’s no blood that would come out immediately if it is ice pick. The guy in front said the man beside me held a knife also and not an ice pick. I saw it and yes it was a small knife like the guy across me. One told the driver to head to the police precinct, there should be one near… there was not one near so we had to turn back. We went to a small precinct to report it. The police there were not really moving fast… just asking things slowly but they told me to go to a bigger station to look at the pictures if I could ID him plus the guy in front of me said he could ID the guy in front of him that was beside me. I would not ride in the police mobile and the other passengers were willing to come so we all came. Nothing much happened in the precinct.

It was bad experience but one thing the passengers did care, some even wanted me to use their celfone so I could tell somebody (I declined however since I would not want to worry people at home). Another thing is the driver did not ask for my fare (I would not be able to give him any even if I wanted to). And the most important thing of course is I am alive. I never thought the knife poked on my side would reach me but there was a very tiny mark on my shirt and the same on my right side rib. I never realized that those knives are very sharp! There is also a small wound in my right arm and marks and bruises. It never really occurred to me earlier that those men would really kill but I eventually realized that they would not hesitate to kill. Funny, the men really did push the knives even the other passengers saw it that made them really worry about me but despite that, I had very little wound. Somehow I still feel blessed!

The past two days have been filled with activities in my community and family. I have already informed the banks, credit card companies and even my celfone company (since my account is post-paid/plan) but I will still have to work out getting new ones on Monday (I have decided to have a prepaid card for my celfone though and cut-off permanently some of my credit cards). I try not to think about what happened but sometimes it flash back to me and I get insights like when I wondered why I noted that there were not many people trying to get in when I got in – I figured that there must have been more than the two guys and they crowded the area when I got in so that others could not come anymore. The guy that sat on the middle said that he tried to get in at the back but that one of them pushed him. I also wondered why they would single me out. I was not in a neat attire, my shirt and pants were faded and I was wearing old rubber shoes. I think they might have seen me before already (I’m easy to single out) and have seen me withdrawing often in the ATM there (I go there since there is no line unlike in the ATM near my office). Insights still come but I don’t want to think about them. I am still figuring out though whether I still want to stay late in the office (work never runs out anyway even if I stay late) and whether I still want to walk (I love walking at night to get to my main ride… arghhhh).

I’ve always felt safe because I am tall and don’t really dress up that I figured that nobody would come after me to cause me harm… but now I realized that I am not invincible after all… I run the risk like other people. It makes me sad since it means that I would not be able to do some things that I do or have to do things that I don’t like to do…. arghhh!

Anyway things happen.. including bad things… one thing though, I feel glad that I am okay… and that’s the most important thing!


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