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Sunday, May 06, 2007


Yesterday we had a joint fellowship and the other household head asked that we do an “honoring” of those present who are celebrating the birthdays this month. We all asked what it was and she said simply that we tell about the good things we like or noted on the person and then we also tell our wishes for them.

Not all the people know each other that well but we nevertheless gave honor and wishes for the celebrants (there were 4 of them) and I was observing their reactions. I noted that although all the honor and well wishes were gracefully accepted by each one, the once that really touched the persons were those given by people who know them well especially on how they have overcomed or are overcoming their struggles. For most it was an affirmation that they are doing good so far (especially for those who were doubting their efforts since some people that surrounds them doesn’t seem to appreciate these efforts) and such honor or praise encourages them further.

I don’t know how but somehow they also started praising me, appreciating my efforts for the group. I should really feel happy but I don’t know… oftentimes I am not comfortable getting praise for my efforts since it makes me conscious of my act and it somehow diminish the joy. When I do something because I feel the need to do it or I enjoy doing it, I don’t like people verbalizing their appreciation because somehow I become aware of their comment that when I do the same thing or does something even better I would wonder if I’m doing it to get attention or not so that the joy of an act get diminished.

But thinking further, I realized that there are lots of occasions too when I would want appreciation for my acts. Not really for the person to tell me I’m doing well but that my act somehow bears fruit on the other person…

I also realized that I have my own praise mechanism for work or other competitive endeavors :-) … if I know (believe) that my idea or my act is the source of a good project or program for implementation, no matter who takes credit, deep inside I know I did well and I would tell myself “Hey, you’re good!”. What can I say, I can be egotistical too! Hehehe…

Anyway, from our fellowship yesterday, I realized that sincere praising could really help a lot in affirming a person. But I also realized that there are several other ways of honoring someone. The mere act of respecting their person, of valuing the time and resources, of being attentive, or being “present” to the person in whatever way are also ways of honoring.

People take differently to your ways, and your efforts are appreciated when you find the right way (the way they like) of honoring them.

It is good to give and receive honor!


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