Random thoughts... Happy Thoughts... Sad thoughts... Anything goes!!!

Thursday, February 01, 2007


I was still in my way home when I felt hungry. I decided to buy a bottled tea drink in a convenient store and head to a fastfood in a small mall. I was already going in to the mall entrance when a street kid approached me asking for my bottled drink. I already extended my hands to give it to him when I noted that he has another unconsumed bottle so I told him “Meron ka pa, ah!” (You still have one) At that he said “pera na lang ate” (give me change instead, big sister). I pulled out my wallet to get some change when suddenly other kids swarmed around me with their hands extended asking for change too! I backed off and told them NO. I suddenly did not like the idea of giving change. The guard at the entrance also immediately shooed them away.

Okay, I lost the desire to give change but I wanted to give them something. I thought food would be better so I immediately went to a kiosk just near the mall entrance and bought 4 ensaymada (cheese bread?) and headed back to the entrance BUT when I got back, none of the kids were in sight. I asked the guard where they were but he just shrugged his shoulder. Told him to tell them that I’ll give them something if he sees them but I wanted to eat first since I was really hungry!

It didn’t take long for me to eat. When I got back, I asked the guard again if he saw any of the kids but he said “No”. I stood there for a while looking around but can’t see any street kid. Finally decided to walk to my ride knowing that I’ll see some street people somehow since I see a lot of them when I go home at night. I walked slowly but I didn’t meet any.

Funny! When you are not looking for them, they are everywhere BUT when you are, they seem to vanish.

So, I was already waiting for my ride and wondering if I’ll be taking home the ensaymadas afterall when I saw my younger sister (rather she saw me) who also stayed late in the office. We took the ride together and I offered her the bread and she was glad since she too was hungry.

I was still thinking about those kids, and wondering if maybe I should have pulled out my wallet again while I was in the mall entrance. The sight of it seemed to attract streetchildren like honey to a fly!

Hmmm… not seemed actually but more surely.

It has happened a lot already! In fact, last December on my way out of the church one of the lame beggars there approached me showing me her crutch, telling me that she badly needed it to be fixed (and it was true). I did not have money then and told her I’ll give her another time. Next time I saw her, she showed me how she crudely fixed her crutch so she can use it. It was also near Christmas time so I took a crisp bill from my wallet and she was happy. She was the only one in the church door then but when I gave her the bill, several others surrounded us asking for some too since it was Christamas! I didn't know where they came from. There were just too many. Good thing I've got crisp bills that time, I almost did not have money left for my transportation after that... oh well!!!

Anyway, back to the street kids, it is not really good to be giving them money since you see some of them sometimes play cara cruz (heads or tails) when they get your change. You get mixed feelings seeing them! Sometimes you feel sad that you can't do anything to change things! Sometimes when I get these feelings I remember trio song of Magdelene, Judas and JC from Jesus Christ Superstar... I can still hear Jesus' answer Judas...

"Surely you're not saying we have the resources to save the poor from their lot! There will be poor always, pathetically struggling, think of the good things you've got! Think while you still have me, move while you still see me, You'll be lost and you'll be sorry when I'm gone!!!"

When I'm swarmed with difficulties, I still feel that I'm a lot better than most people that it is so easy to appreciate things, even small things that come my way! And I also don't give often to street kids (I'd rather give to church) but sometimes, I do feel moved and I act (sometimes push myself to act) on the feeling. Then, sometimes, some street people reject my gift too preferring something else that somehow I feel either embarassed or irritated. Still I go on. After all I know that life has blessed me more than them.


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