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Saturday, September 17, 2005

I am sleeping with somebody!

For the past four nights, I have been sharing my bed with a small guy.

It feels different since I haven’t slept with somebody in a long time!

Even if I live with a big family, they let me have my room and my bed as my sanctuary… my space where I could be alone… but now my 6 year old nephew is sleeping with me. He doesn’t really eat much of my space but still it feels different.

It actually started as his punishment. Last Tuesday he hit his cousin just over a Jollibee french fries. She already gave him some and he still wanted more so hit her when she would not give anymore. The chair just missed her eyes by a few inches and I was really mad! It was not the first time he got envious of his other cousins’ foods and toys that he would hit them when they would not give or lend him and I told him he had reached his limit so that he would no longer sleep with my mom until he has learned how to control his tantrums. He was crying and was begging and apologizing to his cousin telling her he would not do it anymore and he was asking help (or should I say compassion) from my mom and my aunt and I told them that no one comforts him. My word goes… he sleeps with me!

Though, I raised my voice, at the back of mind I was really crying for my nephew. I know why he is always envious… his cousins have parents, he doesn’t have one. He was born out of wedlock and his mother has abandoned him. His father, my brother, has sort of also abandoned him. My nephew doesn’t share the name of his cousins nor of his sisters (though I am working on it now... it was not allowed for illegitimate children to bear the father's name in our family code but by virtue of republic act 9255 they now allow it!)

I am sure the older people at home, especially my mom cares for him but his outbursts are just too much that often times everybody ends up scolding him. I try not to scold him but there are just moments, just like last Tuesday that it gets too much!

Anyway, when he realized that my mom and my aunt would not comfort him, he stopped crying and went up to my room with me. I lit a candle in my altar and closed my room’s light, then we talked. I explained to him about what happened and my wish for him to be good… I don’t really know if it got to him… children his age have not really fully developed their reason yet and they are relying more on their emotion… on their feelings!

Actually there is another reason why I want him to stay in my room. I know my mom cares for him but they always fight… even when sleeping they fight since he wets his bed. That’s one of the reason he did not want to sleep with me, he was afraid to wet my bed!

I’ve read somewhere that the subconscious is very receptive when the person is sleeping and it is good to positively talk to a child while he is sleeping. I am hoping that somehow, he realize that we love him. So when he sleeps I would touch him head from time to time and would wake up to let him pee (I brought a plastic container where he could pee) and I would whisper my prayers in his ears.

I know my mom already wants him to sleep back in their room but I am buying my time. Last night, he was the one who went to my room and told me he wants to sleep already. The other night, he wet our bed. He woke me up and we went down to change his clothes then went back again and stayed in the dry portion of the bed… so NO scolding there! Actually I was used before to wet beds… I took care of my grandmother, who was already semi-coma and we slept together. She would wet the bed 4 to 5 times in the night during cold weathers and I stopped using adult diapers since she developed a sore (which healed and never came back!) so wet beds is not new to me… but that was a bit of a long time ago and I would need getting used to… I am a heavy sleeper. When I hit my bed, I already wake up in the morning. This just needs some adjustment to wake up in the middle of the night and let him pee (anyway I already have a container for that) then sleep again… plus I think that in time he’ll outgrow his bed-wettings.

When he feels he is really loved then maybe…


Blogger isay said...

hi elizabeth. just bloghoping here on your site. dalaw ako ulit.

12:36 PM  

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